Fake

Sitting alone by the side,
I feel Myself calling out for Me,
I can hear the voices
which once i did hide with Me.

I do not wish to hear those,
I need it to leave Me.
I feel better being numb
rather having these voices within Me.

I walk alone by the paths,
my shadow being the only companion for Me
I like these loneliness
but I fear someday shadows will catch Me.

I do not wish anyone to see Me,
know Me or call Me,
cause I Fake Myslef
to like this loneliness around Me

I do not wish any one to appraise Me,
feel Me or love Me,
cause it helps me being
numb, so I can fake Myslef from Me.

Do me a favour just leave Me,
leave Me alone,
cause I have started liking
this loneliness around Me

Do me a favour just hate Me,
hate Me the most,
cause it has started helping
me to feel more numbness within Me

Do me a favour just don't know Me,
dont even try to know,
cause it has started helping
me to be in darkness only being with Me.

I don't feel veneration inside Me.
I know there is no feeling inside Me.
I know am walking alone only with Me.
I know this darkness is taking over Me.
I know this is only grossness within Me.
I know am totally numb within Me.

I KNOW...I KNOW...I KNOW:
I KNOW WHAT I M DOING

I AM JUST FAKING MYSELF
TO HIDE EVERY FEELINGS IN ME
If u can't see Myself faking Me
do me a favor just Ignore me.


These feelings pains Me.
These feelings pushes Me.
These feelings suffocates Me.
These feelings smothers Me.
These feelings are killing Me.
These feelings are not helping Me.

Do A favour to Me,

LEAVE ME,
IGNORE ME,
HATE ME,
DON'T KNOW ME
DON'T LOVE ME
DON'T FEEL ME
DON'T BOTHER ME

It's helping Myself to fake Me
Then let Myself fake Me

Let Myself Fake Me
Let Myself Fake Me

Late is the hour

Late is the hour
Standing I am near the shores,
Waiting for the love
I have cherished for ever.

Staring the motion of the blue
I see the time pass by with no clue.
I wish to hold it for a moment
To cherish the love Once And For Ever.

Late is the hour
Still I see a vague shadow of her:
Far aways across the shores
I see the Stunningly Beauty of her.

Long have I been Unenlightened of her,
Long has this Darkness taken me away from her,
Long have this Grossness drown me away from her,
Long this -Gap of shores have not been crossed.

But This is the hour
I realize what is to be done for her;
Have to run across the shores So Fast,
That I catch before she is long past.

This is the hour,
I hold her in my arms
Admire the beauty
Which I was Ignorant of so far.

Now I know there is nothing as Brighter as her,
as she is the brightest of all.

She is like the Moon in the sky,
Once cold she is like Life.

Late is the hour
Late is the hour, I realize what i have Escaped,
Late is the hour, I can't be offshore,
Late is the hour, I know i m Nothing without her,
Late is the hour, I know i can't live without her,
Late is the hour, I can't let go of her.

Can let go of Myself for ever:
As i not care for myself since knowing Her.

Can let go of every Belongings to me:
As she is the most Precious to me.

Can let go of whom i Pray:
As I now know the Angel of his play.

Can let go of thousands of my Lifes:
To spent a Moment with her of my life.

Late is the hour now,
Still standing, I am near the shores,
Having the last Breaths of the life,
Holding a hope to admire her once more.
But I Wish Not to have a breath,
Without her it's not worth to have a breath.
Still I wish one thing the most,
To draw the last breath having her Close.

Can let go of thousands of my Life:
To spent a Moment with her of my life

But Late Is the Hour...
Late IS The Hour....

Counter Strike

Counter strike this is just not a game this is the mere truth of life and death. this article one will understand if they have ever played this game, even if they like or dont like this game, this is for all them who love or hate this game.

The most mere fact of our existence is, life we have but the end is death someday and is uncertain. We can't take hold of the death but we can take hold of the life given to us. We can't take hold of other's life or death but we can live for our our partners and our beloved who share the life with us and have hope from us. We give them support when they are in dire need of one, We try to give them life even when they see death before them, We give them hope and stand beside them untill the death takes us. We dont run away from the responsibilties that others hold in us. We fight, and fight for the existence of ourselves and for others we care, till the last breath on this battlefield of life. Even when we are dying, even when our hope lies by a thread, we fight, and we fight with such a spirit that its worthy of rememberance. We dont fear death because we know that death is not the end, its the begining of another journey. We believe even if we die we may go into the darkness but we will live again and we wish again to live a life as we lived in past. We never let hope betray us. We never let go of others who did hold on to us and died holding on to it. We live for others first and then only we live for ourselves.

CS is not just a game it's a religion we all follow.

Trust

nomenclature: Me - Prasoon, (......)--my thoughts

Scene: m sitting with a Prof named Dr. S. kamle in his room because i missed 2 classes in the sem ..even wen i promised that i wont ne.

Conversation:
Kamle: Prasoon see m very upset with u. u have missed 3 classes this sem and u promised me that u wont miss more tha one class.
Prasoon: Sir did i??
Kamle: yes u bunked 3 classes. till u missed 2 classes i was fine with it but after 3 i had to call u up to meet me. And u know m too strict abt attendace. u shudnt have missed any but 3.(angry face)
Prasoon: (go for 2 fast....here seems a chance)no sir i missed only 2 classes as per i know. I dont know abt the 3rd class i missed and i have appropriate reasons for missing 2 classes(Prasoon Think abt reasons fast....nice try by the way)
Kamle: u shud have mailed me before bunking the class with reasons, y didnt u?? neways u and ur reasons leave it.
A slight nod of head from me and feeling of relax
Prasoon: Sorry sir, i was not knowing that i missed 3 classes, according to my calculations it was just 2.
Kamle: see Prasoon its not abt how many classes u have bunked but u have broken my trust i put in u.
i nod my head again and a little smile hiding my face from him
Prasoon: I m really sorry for hurting u and messing up the thing but sir wat can be done now.

A long silence
Kamle: c prasoon i know u r a fine student but spoiled or i don't know y u do not wish to perform even after qualifying jee even though wen u have capabilities. i m not the first person of whom u r breaking trust. a lot of professors say the same abt u that u do not wish to study and never keep ur commitments towards them( one more lecture..blah blah blah......and yes i remember wat i did with them; laugh). even u r not keeping the trust that ur parents have in u(uff family melodrama, PLZZ ) and u know once a trust is broken it wont be same again. so wat can be done , so here is the deal u write 10 lines on trust and u r free.(wat ?? i m here only for this ..watever laugh)
Prasoon: OK sir i will just write it here only and give it to u.
Kamle: no u go to ur room, take ur time and think over it and write it and come back with the lines tomorrow(offo i have to wait till tomorrow ...neways lets have a beer)

late in the evening had a beer and pen and paper
Result
Trust is more like an expectation from someone, it may be hidden or open. Trust is based on believing the honesty and reliability of the other. Trust is something which once broken can be fixed but will never be the same again. Trust is time dependable, as it may remain constant, increase or decay with time. Trust is situation dependable, as there may be times when you have no choices other than trusting the other person. In philosophy duality remains as a problem and Trust is the thing "I" should develop in me (in terms characterizing I and Me as different identity). Trust which we may neglect many a time, we may also not accept its importance or even we may not realize if its existing, is one the most basic structure of the society. One may even not realize that there is some one who may be trusting him but there will be many who may be trusting you and one should know the same as soon as he can.

Next Day
Prasoon: Sir here it is
Kamle: hmm let me read.
Kamle: this is too good. u have writing skills. wait i will xerox it myself and keep it with myself in my office and will show to my family too. u have composed it very well.
(OK shud i be happy or embarrassed, watever just do it fast i have my beer waiting for me )
Kamle: Keep the original with u, do show me if u write something else like that.
(ya y not ....m the only fool of my kind ...move fast before he says something else)
Prasoon: Thank u sir. Sir i have a class , i shud go now. Thank u

sigh!!...atlast its over...ufff

She - The Darkness

I like the darkness around me
surrounding me
She shows what is real me.
Discrimination: She does not allow me
I find the person sitting beside me,
is the Same ME
She does not allow to say that its you and This Is Me.
She leaves me with silence
to take the thoughts shape of Me.
Voice of words has not been made for me,
words can rhyme only being silent with Me.
She can not allow anyone to Love Me
but if u wish please do Hate Me,
it should be I who should only Love Me.
She does not tolerate to have a Friend of Me
but She even does not guarantee an Enemy.
She grants only me the Friend of Me
and says I am my Biggest Enemy.
She gives me a fascination for death
but Life Is Not Leaving Me,
I want to be Dead but the life is holding Me.

I want to Run Away from everyone around me
FREE ME .................LEAVE ME
Do Me a favour just Get Rid Of Me
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why is it still Holding Me?
Why this life is still not Leaving Me?
Why these words are Forming Me?
Why these friends are still Bothering Me?
Why this love is still Enchanting Me?
Is there any light still left around Me?
I wish to get rid of it because its Not Me.

I cant leave this Darkness because She Is Me
She let me Matter only one thing
It Should Be Only I Who Knows Me